absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
