The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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