good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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