Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
