I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize