marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Can i not drive my cunt home
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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