I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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