Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize