friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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