I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
