theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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