Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize