Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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