you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
