ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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