apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize