i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She bit a glass in half.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
