Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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