Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.