She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...