I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.