I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Jerry, you need to find god
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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