She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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