I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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