I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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