Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize