was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
