Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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