I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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