I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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