I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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