in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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