So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How external is "for external use only"?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How does one acquire holy water?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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