At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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