I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
