It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
