sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is my gift to your gina
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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