yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
