We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
