It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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