it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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