Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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