I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
