That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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