I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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