No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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