You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here