forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills