Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize