just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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