If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
