i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
