capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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