I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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